Reality Check

By the number of articles friends are posting to my Facebook newsfeed on 'guys to date,' 'the man you should marry,' '5 signs he's the one,' I am guessing that along with the rising heat something else is in the air this summer. I am pretty sure its toxic and contagious; yep, its love. I'll be wearing a protective mask to shield myself.

I found myself sucked into an episode of True Hollywood Story on ex-wives of Hollywood on E! TV. Yes, I do love this kind of scummy TV; it happens to be my favorite. As I watched fairy tale marriages turn into disastrous divorces, a tiny voice inside suggested I turn off the TV or change the channel. But I was hooked, and the show got me thinking.

There are two very conflicting messages the media sends out to women about relationships. 1. You need to be in a relationship and it must be flawless. If things aren't perfect with you and your beau you must be doing something wrong. Don't have a guy in the first place? How do you even function?! Or on the contrary, 2. Avoid relationships and serious commitments at all costs, because they eliminate your independence.

So maybe I have been watching too much reality TV or reading too many online articles, but these are the messages I hear repeatedly and they have left me and many other women confused about the reality of relationships. Is it logical to be simultaneously terrified and desirous of a relationship? Well yes, if the only images of relationships you see are Hollywood breakups or fairytale love stories. This explains why we so commonly become interested in a guy and then run away from the relationship just two dates in. We are at first excited by the possibility of having our own fairy tale, but it doesn't take long for the fear of loosing our independence and becoming a Hollywood-grade ex to sneak in. So we run.

Well here it is - the reality check. Relationships take longer than two dates to build, they take years and as you get to know your love interest you most likely will be sitting somewhere in middle of the failed/perfect relationship scale. Its fine to wait for prince charming, your angel from heaven, or perfect match, but don't run when the relationship presents a challenge. Don't let fear of being dependent on someone cause you to push people away. Romantic relationships can be a crazy ride, so take the dips and turns as they come and don't be afraid to let go. You might get the chance to feel something like this...