Why Tinder May Be Unhealthy
You may be stumbling upon this article with previous knowledge of what Tinder is, or even with some experience using the app. If you're wondering what the heck is Tinder, let me fill you in. Tinder is a matchmaking/dating app that allows its users to select potential "matches" by swiping right on a user's photo. Users have the option to swipe the photo to the left if they are uninterested in matching with a user and never have to see that photo or speak to the user again. Once two users have mutually swiped right, or "matched", they are invited to start a conversation. This may lead to a face to face meeting or date after some successful conversations.
This sounds pretty harmless right? It's got potential to spark a flame between two strangers. Sure I can see this, but I have been somewhat disheartened by the numerous articles about Tinder that ignore the disgusting way in which the app encourages people to judge others within a few seconds based on their appearance. I would like to be real about Tinder for just a minute. I myself have used the app in the past, but it didn't take long to realize it's a total waste of time if you're genuinely looking to start a relationship. Here's a little bit deeper perspective on Tinder's effect on your relationship status and a healthy love for one's self.
1. Tinder can distorted your self-image.
My number one debacle with Tinder, and with many social media sites, is that they create a desire to see yourself as others see you. Rather than expressing your individual personality, creating a profile on Tinder is really about doing your best to appear how others would view you as attractive. Potential "matches" may not even read your "bio" or "about me" section. Users who are eager to expose as much of "who they are" as possible within that few seconds a potential date spends glancing at their photo may upload pictures that show off their figure, wear little clothing, be shirtless or in swimwear. Whether you want it to or not, on a dating site this hints at desperation. So did they swipe right because they saw you as a person?
2. Many users have poor intentions, and you might find yourself deceived by your own wishful thinking.
No one on Tinder is there to fill some one else's (yours to be precise) romantic need for love. Be honest. Everyone is initially there for themselves. Many tinder users are searching for a one night stand, an easy date, a place holder, a person to temporarily fill their wants or needs. This point should be pretty easily understood. A large number of Tinder users are self-interested. Healthy relationships are equally about you as they are about your partner from the very beginning. It's a give and a take.
3. Tinder makes it easy to create false personas.
As is the nature of social media, Tinder enables you to show only the best side of yourself. It is incredibly easy to hide flaws or challenges in your personal life when you're online.
4. It's a rip off of a real relationship. The concept of love is watered down and superficial. We forget what love really is, and end up chasing similar, but less satisfying feelings such as affection, approval, or a boost to our ego.
What is Love? This is a hard question to answer, and we all answer it differently based on experience and beliefs. For me, LOVE is something real. It is equally as real as the air you breath, it's spiritual and soulful and a true acting force in the universe. Love inspires us, causes us to act grandly, kindly, patiently, fearlessly. Love is not a right swipe, a click, or a like. Love is not instantaneous. Love may start as an instantaneous spark, create a flame in just a single moment, but you have put more into it beyond lighting that initial flame in order to keep it burning.
If you're still on Tinder, my advice to you is to get off of it. If you have really enjoyed using the app and meeting new people, then good job on making the best of what Tinder has to offer. Tinder's newest update has started limiting the number of right swipes you can make. Users will now have to pay monthly subscription costs in order to have those unlimited swipes. Maybe this will help get rid of users with poor intentions since they will actually have to spend money to use the app.
Have you had a successful date or relationship emerge from a Tinder connection? I know some people have, so feel free to share your good experiences in the comments and advocate for Tinder's positives.
photo credit: 313/365http://www.flickr.com/photos/49503088378@N01/6328643600">313/365
> via photopinhttp://photopin.com">photopin> (license)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)>
1. Tinder can distorted your self-image.
My number one debacle with Tinder, and with many social media sites, is that they create a desire to see yourself as others see you. Rather than expressing your individual personality, creating a profile on Tinder is really about doing your best to appear how others would view you as attractive. Potential "matches" may not even read your "bio" or "about me" section. Users who are eager to expose as much of "who they are" as possible within that few seconds a potential date spends glancing at their photo may upload pictures that show off their figure, wear little clothing, be shirtless or in swimwear. Whether you want it to or not, on a dating site this hints at desperation. So did they swipe right because they saw you as a person?
2. Many users have poor intentions, and you might find yourself deceived by your own wishful thinking.
No one on Tinder is there to fill some one else's (yours to be precise) romantic need for love. Be honest. Everyone is initially there for themselves. Many tinder users are searching for a one night stand, an easy date, a place holder, a person to temporarily fill their wants or needs. This point should be pretty easily understood. A large number of Tinder users are self-interested. Healthy relationships are equally about you as they are about your partner from the very beginning. It's a give and a take.
3. Tinder makes it easy to create false personas.
As is the nature of social media, Tinder enables you to show only the best side of yourself. It is incredibly easy to hide flaws or challenges in your personal life when you're online.
4. It's a rip off of a real relationship. The concept of love is watered down and superficial. We forget what love really is, and end up chasing similar, but less satisfying feelings such as affection, approval, or a boost to our ego.
What is Love? This is a hard question to answer, and we all answer it differently based on experience and beliefs. For me, LOVE is something real. It is equally as real as the air you breath, it's spiritual and soulful and a true acting force in the universe. Love inspires us, causes us to act grandly, kindly, patiently, fearlessly. Love is not a right swipe, a click, or a like. Love is not instantaneous. Love may start as an instantaneous spark, create a flame in just a single moment, but you have put more into it beyond lighting that initial flame in order to keep it burning.
If you're still on Tinder, my advice to you is to get off of it. If you have really enjoyed using the app and meeting new people, then good job on making the best of what Tinder has to offer. Tinder's newest update has started limiting the number of right swipes you can make. Users will now have to pay monthly subscription costs in order to have those unlimited swipes. Maybe this will help get rid of users with poor intentions since they will actually have to spend money to use the app.
Have you had a successful date or relationship emerge from a Tinder connection? I know some people have, so feel free to share your good experiences in the comments and advocate for Tinder's positives.
photo credit: 313/365http://www.flickr.com/photos/49503088378@N01/6328643600">313/365
> via photopinhttp://photopin.com">photopin> (license)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)>